Life at the airport

Some observations:

1. A direct flight is not the same as a non-stop flight. Non-stop is self explanatory, point A to point B. Direct means the same flight number & thus usually the same airplane (though not guaranteed), and may have 1 or more stops until you get to your destination.

2. Non-stops flights usually (but not always) cost more than direct flights.

3. People that complain the loudest or demand the most have paid the lowest price for their ticket.

4. Those same people are usually not wearing their Sunday best; nor have they used a comb or brush lately.

5. No matter how wide the terminal walkway - a group traveling together will always manage to walk side-by-side obliviously negating any chance of getting to your connecting flight on time.

6. Want to have a slow walking contest - go to the airport.

7. Where's baggage claim? I swear half the herd is illiterate. It's not that complicated - unless you're the first one off the airplane - follow most of the rest of your fellow passengers. Then go outside baggage claim and light up with the rest of the illiterates in the posted no-smoking zone!

8. Unless you're flying Southworst - there's absolutely no need to que up for the boarding process at the gate with your line overflowing from the plane door (or actually the seat row where Uncle Joe is trying to shove his overpacked carry-on into the overhead bin because of the horror stories of all the lost baggage) all through the jetway and spilling into the terminal and further disrupting the flow of foot traffic.

9. Rows numbers on the planes always begin with 1, 2, 3 at the front. This is usually First Class. Last Class is in the back - mooo!

10. Seat letters always begin with "A" at the window seat on the left side of the plane (just like looking at the alphabet on the wall in your elementary school classroom); except usually now since you board facing the wrong way "A" is on your right (but that's still aircraft left).

Bonus - Free newspapers & magazines - get your leftovers at a gate from which a flight just left (prior to the cleaners coming through), or upon deplaning from the seat or seat back pockets from the folks who sat in front of you. How do you think the crew gets their reading material - thank you very much!