Sheriff Buford T. Justice

"What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law."

No he wasn't exactly Jackie Gleason but he was of the same general persuasion; and he wasn't a Sheriff but a FL State trooper. FYI Buford T. Justice was the name of a real Florida Highway Patrolman known to Burt Reynolds' father, who himself was once Chief of Police of Riviera Beach, Florida.

Picture me yesterday in the center lane and Trooper Justice in the left turn lane. My lane has the option of going straight or turning left, the lane to my right is a pure right turn lane only. My intention was to turn left and had signaled this approaching the intersection when it turned red stopping behind 2 other cars.

Well Buford (who turned out of an intersection behind me and pulls up alongside) rolls down his passenger side winda and drawls to git over to the right side of the road and cross with the pedestrian's. That I'm not allowed to be in the lane where I am and that if I don't comply he'll write me a citation. I tell him I respectfully disagree, that I'm a driver of a vehicle on the road and entitled to most of the same privileges though subject to some limitations; and that if I can flow with the flow of traffic I can be anywhere I want (this last point may or may not always be true).

He continues to point to the right and as the light turns green ask him if I can continue this discussion at the strip mall across the street; and I move over and do as I was directed. He nods and pulls away then circles into the mall parking lot and waits.

As I pull up to Trooper Justice (now standing outside his Ford Crown Victoria Interceptor) with the driver's door wide open and introduce myself. I make note of the large unsheathed knife wedged in with the baton attached in the car where his lower right leg would be next to the transmission.

The Trooper starts rattling off a string of violations that he just witnessed, that he picks up enough bodies off the road each month, and he's looking after my own safety. I tell him in every state I've ever looked up the laws that a bicycle is consider a vehicle and may do in traffic what other vehicles do so long we they operate by the same rules of the road with minor exceptions (i.e. riding as far a practicable to the right side of the road, restricted off certain portions of roadways and bridges, may ride on sidewalks in certain areas, etc.). That I can legally utilize the left turn lane, that I can avoid the right turn only lanes, and that as an adult (having been riding my bike on the roads for the last 40 years) I can look after my own safety pretty well - he's having none of this. Said he could take his vehicle code book outta his glove box and show me, but that it wasn't worth his time.

About this time he glances at my clown bike and notices that I have no reflectors or mirrors installed anywhere and makes reference to that. "That's another couple of citations I could write you up for; see how nice I'm being?" Yeah a real prince! Reflectors are for night riding you dork! Now on the mirror he might have a point.

We end up agreeing to disagree and I said that if he'd take the time to look up the bicycling specific laws for the State of FL I'd do the same. Not surprisingly he was wrong on all accounts, but it would've been a real hassle to get the citation and have to go back to FL to fight it.

So maybe next ride I have in Orlando-world I'll just carry a copy of the FL regs just in case I run across Trooper Buford or his clone. What was up with that knife?

I was also wondering what jurisdiction a State Trooper has on the local roads? I would've thought he'd only be responsible for the State Highways and Interstates. Then the County Sheriff's and local police would have jurisdictions on the local & county roads as appropriate.

But I wasn't ready to call his bluff and risk a citation - it would've only meant more hassle for me, where I would be basically considered guilty until I proved myself innocent (and probably would've paid the fine rather than fly 12 hours roundtrip to defend myself).

And as I look in the regs I can't find any reference to needing a mirror (at least in FL). They talk about seats, brakes, and lights & reflectors at night - but no mirror.

So shutup Buford!! Dumb sumbitch...